Thursday, January 28, 2010

ABC Quilts (At Risk Babies & Children's Quilts)

What ABC Quilts are...
ABC Quilts (At Risk Babies & Children's Quilts) was founded in 1988 by Ellen Ahlgren, to give love and comfort to at-risk babies in the form of handmade quilts, and to use this process to promote awareness, community service and prevention education. "At-risk" was defined as those babies born HIV-positive, affected by their mother's drug or alcohol abuse while pregnant, or abandoned. The international network of volunteers has delivered over half a million quilts since ABC Quilts was founded. American Mothers became involved with ABC Quilts in 1992, when its founder, Ellen Ahlgren was named the New Hampshire Mother of the year. In 2006, American Mothers adopted ABC Quilts as a National Project. Quilts are made and donated by people of all ages, and all skill levels. The completed quilts are distributed to local hospitals and agencies that deal with babies and children at risk. --American Mothers, Inc.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Chain email

Normally I'd avoid chain emails like crazy, but this one was a doozy. The letter is funny enough on it's own, but from the first "incident" I thought this just exactly something the DH would do. Please put the beverage down before reading ;)

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday mydear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1.June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2.July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3.July 7:
He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4.July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5.August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6.August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7.August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8.August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9.September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10.September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11.October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12.October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13.October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14.October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but certainly not least:

15.October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

If you don't send this to 12 of your dearest friends, your property taxes will go up, your stocks will go down, and your middle will spread. (How's that for a curse?!?) What? It's already come true? Then send it anyway--you've got nothin' to lose!

As it turns out the DH has performed a couple of these antics.